clapclapclapyohands

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 04:10:42 GMT

i was a much better human being when i had this journal. i kind of wish it were two years ago right now; when mary was still my best friend and all that really upset me was the fact that i didn't have a love life. school was great, i had no real worries, no job, and was pretty much happy. i didn't realize it then; but i realize it now, and that's why memory sucks. i think if memory removal procedures really did exist, like in that new spike jonze movie, i would remove ever emotional memory i have. it sounds fucking retarded, but i think that'd be for the best. as liz put it; im in my own little world, and i'm kind of seperate from everybody else.

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 18:05:30 GMT

*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

Wed, 18 Jun 2003 03:03:45 GMT

God damn it.
.
I want to burn this lauryn hill cd but I only have 74 minute CDs and this CD is like 75 minutes or something.
.
I'm arguing in forums again.
.
*edit* But I downloaded four episodes of Salute Your Shorts to watch!

Tue, 17 Jun 2003 03:32:29 GMT

AND SINCE I APPARENTLY CAN'T TYPE ANYTHING AS SIMPLE AS A LIST OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES WITHOUT BEING ARROGANT AND PRETENTIOUS I'M DONE | AND JUST REMEMBER I AM A STUPID CUNT

.

Mon, 16 Jun 2003 17:40:23 GMT

go read this. RJ linked it in his lj and I thought it was interesting. He linked it from another community. Just go read it.

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 20:50:51 GMT

Last Twenty Movies Watched
5/31/03 - Carrie 2002
6/01/03 - Bad Taste
6/02/03 - Jubilee
6/04/03 - Island of Death
6/04/03 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
6/04/03 - Meet the Feebles
6/05/03 - The Grandmother
6/05/03 - Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
6/05/03 - Tombs of the Blind Dead
6/05/03 - Return of the Blind Dead
6/06/03 - Guinea Pig: Flower of Flesh and Blood
6/06/03 - Demons
6/06/03 - Wrong Turn
6/06/03 - Quiet Days in Clichy
6/07/03 - Beyond the Darkness
6/07/03 - Last House on Dead End Street
6/07/03 - Guinea Pig: Devil's Experiment
6/08/03 - Tromeo and Juliet
6/08/03 - Unit 731: Laboratory of the Devil (Man Behind the Sun 2)
6/09/03 - Guinea Pig: Android of Notre Dame

Sat, 07 Jun 2003 17:31:06 GMT

go here and watch the commercials. you won't regret it.

Fri, 06 Jun 2003 04:06:41 GMT

i'm a nightclub singer on a seedy dark stage in a small town but the words i'm singing aren't mine, they're bits and pieces taken from others molded into one to form the effect i'm trying to make. it's just layers upon layers upon layers of all that i feel (but it's not my feelings it's it's it's ___) and then when the few people in the crowd clap I look up under my dark veil, MY DARK VOLUPTOUS VEIL, and blow cigarette smoke out of my mouth watching it float upwards. I hike up my skirt expecting a response, a hoot and a hollar, a cat call, anything to make me go farther farther farther farther until the skirts all the way up over my head and my legs are spread and i'm being force fed a large piece and by then i'm too tired to scream, too tired to care and stop pause think think think think think (!) i could just roll over and slap punch kick but i don't want to hard harder hardest but he stops i stop the tape stops it's a cut cut cut (when I cut the blood doesn't drip too long because i'm too quick to lap it up with my dry tongue) but the best comes in post production. such a shock when I see that i'm not the star i'm not the diva i'm not the femme fatale i'm not even in the credits i'm an extra extra seedy little extra but i'm still in that night club singing the words that aren't mine in the dark with the men drinking and the smoke blowing and sun falling.

Sun, 01 Jun 2003 21:51:07 GMT

I just got back from buying some videos to find my mother freaking out about some book I had. To further inquiry I revealed she had seen my copy of Anais Nin's "House of Incest" lying on my floor and had paged through "that awful book" and read "dirty passages." Owing to the fact that the book has nothing remotly to do with incest in the common used terminology, I had no idea what she was talking about, since there's nothing remotely offensive in the book. She made me show the book to my dad, who after browsing though the book and reading various passages deduced it as "just one of those weird books Michael reads." Thank God he was logical for once. My mother was passing it off as pornography without knowing remotely anything about it. Then after I get the book back my mother tells me that "[she] was just worried because one time a few years ago I heard you talking about that word on the phone." I replied, "Incest? When?" She said she had been listening to a conversation because "she had wanted to make sure I had gotten the phone" and heard me say "that word" and even my friend said that was gross. Of course I have no idea what she was talking about and since she said it was on the phone with this certain person it can most certainly be due to some lame joke I told a friend on the phone in junior high. Yeah, you're welcome for renting you a movie mom.

Sat, 31 May 2003 16:38:35 GMT

Last Ten Movies I Watched
5/27/03 - Aguirre: the Wrath of God
5/27/03 - House on the Edge of the Park
5/28/03 - Hellraiser: Inferno
5/28/03 - Sleepaway Camp
5/29/03 - Hellraiser: Hellseeker
5/29/03 - Straw Dogs
5/29/03 - Halloween II
5/30/03 - Mondo Cane
5/30/03 - Angels and Insects
5/31/03 - Begotten

After Chris's party last night (which was very enjoyable) I went home because it was raining pretty hard and I figured that the show at the skate park would be cancelled. Once there I watched another hour or so of Angels and Insects, then calling Brad. We went to Denny's, and somehow for a milkshake and an order of cheesesticks I ended up paying ten dollars. Katy and Jess met us there, and I acted like a prick to Jess. I went home, finished Angels and Insects, and then I fell asleep watching Begotten (suprisingly no wierd dreams followed). I woke up this morning and finished it, and I know I used to hate this movie (I couldn't make it past the first twenty minutes previously) I think I really like it now. It really is like watching a car wreck, you just can't tear your eyes away. The soundtrack is probably what kept me entranced, it's almost like a mild Merzbow song with insect noises mixed in. I still have no idea what most of the symbolism meant, but it was enjoyable none the less.

Fri, 30 May 2003 19:58:00 GMT

There's a small chance I will be lucky enough to go see Cremaster 4&5 this Wednesday and frankly this makes me happier than I have been in quite a long time. The first two are showing today, and there's no way I can make it up to Chicago since I have Chris's party to attend. I also have to work the day of the 3rd and final one, but it's okay that I'm missing it, since I've also found out that Palm Pictures is releasing them on DVD in September, so that's something to majorly look forward to. Excited me, I'm done.
(If anybody wants to go with me and Brad on wednesday they're welcome to come if they chip in for gas money.)

Tue, 27 May 2003 02:29:13 GMT

Last Ten Movies I Watched
5/26/03 - Equus
5/25/03 - Kissed
5/24/03 - Hellraiser: Bloodlines
5/24/03 - Vampyros Lesbos
5/23/03 - Dr Phibes Rises Again
5/22/02 - George Washington
5/21/03 - Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
5/18/03 - Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth
5/18/03 - Hustler White
5/18/03 - Adaptation

Mon, 26 May 2003 22:53:46 GMT

Bold means I've seen it.

1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
5 Schindler's List (1993)
6 Citizen Kane (1941)
7 Casablanca (1942)
8 Seven Samurai (1954)
9 Star Wars (1977)
10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
11 Memento (2000)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Rear Window (1954)
14 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
18 Amelie (2001)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Psycho (1960)
22 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
26 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
27 Goodfellas (1990)
28 American Beauty (1999)
29 Vertigo (1958)
30 Pianist, The (2002)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Apocalypse Now (1979)
33 Some Like It Hot (1959)
34 Matrix, The (1999)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Taxi Driver (1976)
37 Third Man, The (1949)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Fight Club (1999)
40 Boot, Das (1981)
41 L.A. Confidential (1997)
42 Double Indemnity (1944)
43 Chinatown (1974)
44 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
45 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
46 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
47 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
48 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
49 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
50 All About Eve (1950)
51 M (1931)
52 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
53 Raging Bull (1980)
54 Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
57 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
58 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
59 Vita e bella, La (1997)
60 American History X (1998)
61 Sting, The (1973)
62 Touch of Evil (1958)
63 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
64 Alien (1979)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Rashemon (1950)
67 Leon (1994)
68 Annie Hall (1977)
69 Great Escape, The (1963)
70 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
74 Jaws (1975)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 On the Waterfront (1954)
77 Ran (1985)
78 Braveheart (1995)
79 High Noon (1952)
80 Fargo (1996)
81 Blade Runner (1982)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Aliens (1986)
84 Toy Story 2 (1999)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951)
86 Modern Times (1936)
87 Shining, The (1980)
88 Donnie Darko (2001)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Princess Bride, The (1987)
91 Lola rennt (1998)
92 City Lights (1931)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Metropolis (1927)
95 Searchers, The (1956)
96 Full Metal Jacket
97 Notorious (1946)
98 Manhattan (1979)
99 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
100 Graduate, The (1967)

although admittedly, most of the ones I havn't seen I don't really want to see. Plus this list kind of sucks, I think it's the top 100 movies from IMDB.com. Oh well.

Sun, 25 May 2003 19:12:57 GMT

No Typing Required
(Taken from People Magazine, current issue)

Being a Secret Service man in the Kennedy White House wasn't easy- and not all of the threats came from the outside. "We liked the President, and we didn't like to see him compromising himself," says retired agent Larry D. Newman, 67. "But he thrived on risk."

Just how much risk became clearer on May 15, when a divorced Manhattan grandmother named Marion Fahnestock-a onetime aide to JFK's press secretary-revealed that she was a forerunner to Monica Lewinsky. "From June 1962 to November 1963," Fahnestock, 60, who runs a church's Web wite, said in a statement, "I was involved in a sexual relationship with President Kennedy."

Born Marion Deardsley and nicknamed Mimi, the Red Bank, N.J., native attended MIss Porter's School-the elite Farmington, Conn., alma mater of Jacqueline Kennedy. Visiting Washington, D.C., in 1961 to interview the First Lady for her school paper, she caught the eye of Jacki's husband, who had her hired for a summer job after her first year at Wheaton College. ACcording to a new JFK biograhpy by Robert Dallek, she returned the next summer (though she had no office skills) and visiteed in between.

Apparenty she wasn't alone. Besides his better-known mistresses, Dallek writes, Kennedy carried on with a few other staffers. Another ex-agent recalls flirting with an attractive woman during a JFK trip, only to be warned by a supervisor, "That is the boss's private stock." Then again, the boss had his own appeal. "I don't remember anyone forcing gals to see him," says a third retiree. "They tripped all over themselves."

.
This week's People owns, it has that article PLUS an article on the Black Dahlia murder. What else could a boy want?

Sat, 24 May 2003 05:09:25 GMT

Okay, Robert is now my hero because he linked me to the amazing online magazine BLAIR MAGAZINE (as in tootie and jo [hello, the facts of life]) and it has this on it:

http://www.blairmag.com/sissy/chloe.html

Now, this excites me a lot more than it should- you see, I'm secretly in love with both Edie Sedgwick AND Chloe Sevigny, so this is like a wet dream come true.

Anyway, I'm slowly working my way through every past article because they're amazingly funny and way too cool not to read.

Sat, 24 May 2003 03:19:25 GMT

.
i need someone else to take pictures of

Sat, 24 May 2003 01:49:47 GMT

It's my birthday tuesday.

I think you should buy me something.

(Yes, I linked my amazon.com wishlist... so sue me.)

Thu, 22 May 2003 01:39:52 GMT

My clothes are too tight.

I'm an ugly fatass (desperado) riding into an untimely ghost town where I will start show downs in an attempt to woo the ladies, only to find that my only compadres will be staring llamas who've excaped from a neighboring farm and have nothing on their minds except food (flesh?). The llamas coo quietly at first, it's almost unnerving. They walk around, always staring at you, never allowing you to make a sudden movement. I'm hungy, like the llamas, I'm craving food (flesh?) so I leave the town with small drawn out hope of finding a restaurant.

Thu, 22 May 2003 00:23:47 GMT

Suprise. I updated IFELLDOWN.com.

Tue, 20 May 2003 13:15:34 GMT

It's my birthday in eight days, and school is over in seven. There's an aura in my room- it's warmer than everywhere else in the house. It feels like something should happen soon. I have to get another job. I don't have to but i'm going to. Two won't be enough (for my incessant spending patterns). I'm also going on a fruit diet for a while.

That'll work.

Fri, 16 May 2003 13:52:40 GMT

I'm mailing out </a></b></a>shaz and </a></b></a> copies of opheria today. I have one copy left in anybody wants to trade/buy it.

Thu, 15 May 2003 13:20:20 GMT

I remember when I was in third grade or so some famous children's author visited our school. He read some stories out loud in the auditorium and signed a whole bunch of books that were put on sale. Of course I had to have one of the books; there was one I wanted in particular because it had an amazing cover. One day I was with my mom while she was talking to her friend. Her friend told her that she had an extra copy of one of the books. It was one with an awfully bland cover. I told her I didn't really want that one because I thought it looked boring. She asked me if I had read it, I answered no, and she told me not to judge a book by it's cover.

Too bad that's all anything is ever judged by.

Wed, 14 May 2003 03:03:31 GMT

Since Teej and Zak got so many responses I'll see if people will do this for me:

1. when and how did we meet:
2. have you ever seen me with my shirt off:
3. have you ever seen me cry:
4. describe me in four adjectives:
5. if we could spend a day together what would we do:
6. have we ever gotten in a fight:
7. if you could give me a present what would it be:
8. what do you really think of me:
9. have we ever kissed:
10. has there ever been anything you wanted to tell me, but were scared to:
11. wanna makeout:
12. name one thing you dont like about me:

Tue, 13 May 2003 01:53:53 GMT

Tue, 13 May 2003 01:52:36 GMT